Our strong (and very funny) magnets are individually bagged for gift giving.
"I'm lucky he cooks... he's lucky I don't"
"some days, I'm tempted to bark at the neighbors too"
"didn't I just feed them yesterday?"
"trust me...this is going to be hilarious"
"of course it's not 'real' Doris... nothing is real anymore"
"you say 'crazy cat lady' like it's a bad thing"
"my garden kicks ass"
"what would happen if you took two?"
"what's a nice girl like me doing in a dump like this?"
"they say 'do one thing every day that scares you' ... I think I'll call my mother"
"Mommy doesn't cook, Sweetie. She nukes"
"funny... I don't recall asking for your opinion"
"is it just me?.... or is this no fun at all?"
"It's called 'Ode to Housework,' dear. It has no ending."
"if you can't say something nice, say it to your husband... he's not listening anyway"
"Carol invented a fun new game for the car called 'shut up'"
"if they can send a man to the moon I'm certain they can send a smart mouth teenager"
"higher math: a train leaves Boston at 7 a.m. traveling 60 mph and another leaves L.A. at 9 am.m traveling 70 mph... what times do the bar carts open?"
"every day is a @#%& gift!"
"do people still run away with the circus? asking for a friend..."
"Let me know when they invent Cool Yoga"
"stop me before I volunteer again"
"'okay, I guess' turned out to be the wrong answer"